Feb 6, 2020
It's important to realize that any good relationship requires giving and not just taking and taking.
You cannot expect to receive something if you don’t offer on your own turn, "you reap what you sow", as the biblical saying puts it.
But how fair is it to give away all of the things you’ve learned without adding any value?
In this episode, know how to understand your worth and the information that you need on deciding what to do so that you're starting to give value.
Automated Transcript Below:
Dean Soto 0:00
Hey, this is Dean Soto founder of freedom in five minutes.com and Pro Sulum.com, P-R-O-S-U-L-U-M.com and we're here again with another freedom in five minutes podcast episode.
Today's topic is this, please stop picking my brain. It's gross! That and more coming up.
Alright, we're here again with another frosty morning in Central California. Love it. Love it. So good beats, beats, beats 90 degree weather in the morning. Oh, so good to be out here. So, gosh, this was three weeks ago? Has to be, yeah, probably three maybe even four weeks ago. So I got this, I got this text message from a friend of mine and a little background story is that this friend actually used to work for me. This friend, this friend worked for me doing, he used to do my podcasts and he was the podcast host for a, for a while on another, another thing that I was doing. Actually I outsource my entire podcast situation which was really cool. They worked out really well. But, but he moved on, he moved on to work with some other folks. And a while. Gosh, I want to say maybe a year ago, we got back in touch and he actually, he wanted to, he was looking for a, another position and not, not with my, with my company but with a relatively big nonprofit organization. And I ended up helping him with a referral recommendation. I ended up talking with the person who was doing the hiring and, and gave them good reviews and stuff because the guy was, the guy was good. And, and, you know, decent friend and everything like that. So I always want to help people out. Well, a couple of weeks ago, so I hadn't heard from him in a while. He actually ended up getting the job, which was awesome. You know, he just had a baby. And as he and his wife just had a baby, and it worked out really well. He did, that he was able to, you know, move on to the next level, right? Well, a few weeks ago, he texts me out of the blue. And this is not the only person who has done this, but he texts me out of the blue and said that he ended up getting another position with a really well known church organization. And he is, he was the marketing director for that particular church’s music group, very, very popular in the Christian circles music group. And because of that, he, so he's, he's the marketing director and he was looking for additional channels to just roll channels to get their music into different locations and so on and so forth. And but so in the text, in the text, it was basically, hey, Dean, you know, giving update and everything like that, and at the very end, he says, I would love to pick your brain. I would love to pick your brain about the different channels we can use to market our music. And immediately, I was like, yeah, I'll get to you later. Yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna respond to you. Because in the, couple of things, one, in the past, whenever I've let people quote unquote, pick my brain, it's never worked out in my favor. Anytime you, just think about it, anytime you would let somebody pick your brain, just like pick, you know, hey, Dean could I pick your nose for a little bit. I just, I just need to figure some things out. Does that sound like a beneficial situation? Yeah, maybe you have a clean nose, but it's also kind of gross, right? Same thing goes with picking your brain. What value am I getting out of that? Not that I, not
that I want to always, you know, get something back for helping other people. But immediately, in my opinion, it's, hey, let me take from you. Let me take all of the experience, all of the heartache, all of the challenges, all of the things that you've learned, all of the thousands and thousands of dollars that you've invested and lost, the wins, the losses, everything let me, let me. Can I, can I just take all of the good stuff from you, so that it benefits me?
Now, does that sound, does that sound like a win-win situation? And so I literally have not responded to him. And I've done that to the past to other people. Do I still like the guy? Of course. Do this, this happens quite a bit. Especially with people who are just starting out their business and they're friends of friends. And they're like, hey, Dean, you've been in business since you know, 2009. Even before that, doing some side stuff, since you know, for over a decade, let me pick your brain. I just started my business. Let me pick your brain and give you no value back whatsoever. Because I'm a new business owner, and I have no value that I could potentially give you other than money, which I probably don't even have, right? And even if I did have it, I wouldn't know how much your value is because I'm a new business owner. And while, while, while I might be sounding a little sarcastic, I don't mean to be. The, the idea that it's okay to ask if you can pick someone's brain is so backward. Why would you ever think that that's okay? Why would you ever think that, that was, that, that, that would be okay.
And so why is this important? It's important to realize that any good relationship requires giving. Not just taking, giving, right? What are you giving to the situation? What's the value you are bringing, right? This goes for new clients. This goes for new customers, this goes for prospects, you know, what are you giving? So, so for example, with, with prospects, what are you giving, in the very beginning? People who are, are wanting to get a VSA through Pro Sulum when they're scheduling a, when they, when they schedule a discovery call. They get asked a series of questions and it looks like it's, it looks like those questions are taking, right? Iit looks like, you know, you get asked what your industry is, do you have standard operating procedures, is everything scalable, yada yada, yada? A whole bunch of different questions and 10 questions and all. And, it looks like it's taking but in fact, what's going on is it's giving. The person right away can tell you know, is this right for me? Do I even need this? And if they do need it, they're like, holy crap, I actually do need this because I don't have standard operating procedures, I don't have automation in my business, I don't have scalability. If I stop working, I lose lots of money. Immediately, it's giving a perspective. So that when they do get on the phone, it's a good fit, and it's not wasting their time. It's not wasting my time, right? And even if it's not totally a good fit, it's still not wasting time. Because they, they know, they know what to expect. It's a better conversation, right? So, what are you bringing to your relationship? Because it's not just business. What do you bring into your marriage? What do you bring into your time, your relationship with your kids? What are you bringing? Like, what are you bringing to your relationship with your friends? Or you’re just picking your wife's emotional brain? Or your husband's emotional brain? Or you’re just picking your kids brains? Or you’re just taking, taking taking, taking, taking, taking? What do you give? How many, how many love notes do you give in a week to your family? How many love texts, videos, things like that? Do you give without asking for anything? How many times are you giving gifts to your, to your clients during the year as your way of saying thank you? You know, they're giving you, yeah, they're giving you money and you're giving them value back. But how many times are you, are you appreciating them and not just taking them for granted, right? How many times are you doing that? Stop picking people's brains. It's a bad habit. It's a bad habit. So how right now what are you doing right now that is simply taking from other people? Maybe you're just taking from the church, maybe you haven't tied in years. Or if you do, it's like $10 in the basket for the year. When you've made $200,000. Maybe it's taking from the church. They have to pay their bills. Unless you're doing something home study online or something like that. They have to pay for that fixed cost. It's paid to keep the lights on. This keeps the fellowship going. What's the percentage that you've donated? What are you taking? I just want you to, to, this week, see where you're taking. That's it. And then you'll have at least the information that you need to then make a decision on what you want to do so that you're starting to give value.
All right, this Dean Soto freedom in five minutes, go check out freedom in five minutes.com, or if you want a virtual systems architect, someone who you can literally show how to do something in five minutes, they will clone you, they will do, they will document that entire thing for you, and then do it, which is crazy. So every five minutes you spend is freedom. Freedom in five minutes, you can literally transform your entire business in 30 days, five minutes a day. Alright, this is Dean Soto, freedom in five minutes.com. Go check that out and Pro Sulum.com, P-R-O-S-U-L-U-M.com, and I'll see you in the next freedom in five minutes episode.